My husband and I went to church in Winter Haven yesterday where he preached a sermon on communication. He used Ephesians 4 as his main text. I thought a lot about it yesterday and as I slept last night I woke up a couple different times with Ephesians 4: 32 on my lips. I was convicted in his sermon yesterday as he spoke of speaking the truth in love from v. 14 of Ephesians 4. I know that many times my words are sharp or with a tone of judgment rather than "love." I went to him this morning to ask his forgiveness.
The scriptures have a lot to say on the use of our tongues from things we shouldn't say to those things we should say. Proverbs 21:23 says "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles." That is one of those passages that caution us to guard what we say to people. Ephesians 4:32 says "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgave you." While this verse does not speak directly to the use of the tongue, to be kind and tenderhearted usually involves the words we say.
When we are with friends or just acquaintances we are quick to say "thank you, please, no thank you, excuse me etc." Somehow we neglect to offer the same courtesies to the people in our household. A few years ago I came to the realization that my husband and I were not being kind and tenderhearted. We were not being courteous. I shared that with him and he agreed as well that we were not speaking with one another as we should. By God's grace we are much better in using those courtesies with one another and heeding the words in v. 32.
Our families in our household are the people we love the most yet many times the people we treat with least kindness. These courtesies should be extended to our children as well. Hopefully they will learn to extend those same courtesies to family and friends.
Communication is the glue that holds us together - not just any communication but that which is helpful to those we communicate with. The lack of communication, or proper communication can destroy our relationships. As Ephesians 4: 29 tells us, "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers."
Perhaps this is not a struggle for you but if it is, ask forgiveness where it needs to be and begin speaking by being kind to one another and tenderhearted. We must also be willing to forgive others even as God in Christ forgave us.
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