Communication That Encourages

One of the definitions of communication is "a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs or behavior." We usually rely on words or body language for communication. Our body language and tone of our words can very often cause miscommunication.

In seeking effective communication skills between you and your spouse we should focus more on our own communication skills. Do we come across as arrogant, bossy, judgmental, looking down our noses as we speak to our spouses? It is very difficult to communicate with someone who is not a communicator at all. One of the best ways to help someone else to strengthen their weaknesses is to look at our own weaknesses first (Matthew 7: 4, 5). We cannot hope for change in our spouses until we have adequately sought the Lord to change us. This takes prayer, prayer, prayer.

Thanks to the Lord there are many scripture verses we could "camp out" on to help us communicate more adequately. I am using Ephesians 4:29 for this post. "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." If we want to communicate effectively we need to choose words that are not unwholesome, degrading or immoral to the hearer. People will miss the positive point you are making if it is surrounded by words they find offensive. If we truly want effective communication with our spouses we need to be sure the words we chose are encouraging and will build them up. The whole point to this verse is that everything we say is to impart grace to those we are speaking to. It is to build them up and encourage them. Paul says we are to speak the truth in love. We don't need to falsely sugar coat our statements for our own gain but we should certainly look for every opportunity in our communication to be sure we are encouraging them while we are speaking the truth in love.

We can usually be pretty effective in communicating with those outside of our household. It is our spouses and children who may suffer sometimes because what we say to them does not build them up but in fact tears them down. If your spouse tears you down with his/her words continue to encourage them with your words. "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:32)."